This was originally written way back in 2015 by myself and the extremely funny Paul Hammond as our attempt at a sketch for Radio 4’s NewsJack sketch show. It is worth noting that at the time George Lucas was getting a bit of a reputation for constant tweaking and rereleasing his back catalogue.
INTERVIEWER: I’m here with George Lucas, who has just controversially announced that he will be completely removing the Death Star from the new Star Wars Blu-Ray edition
INTERVIEWER: Hi George, thank you for your time.
GEORGE LUCAS: No problem, thank you for having me.
INTERVIEWER: So, talk us through your reasoning for this change. Some fans find the Death Star to be quite iconic and indeed pivotal to the plot and subsequent ending of your film.
GEORGE LUCAS: Then they mustn’t have been paying attention. This is just a small tweak. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for some time now, and have decided that the time is right to replace the Death Star
INTERVIEWER: With?
GEORGE LUCAS: A volcano.
INTERVIEWER: A volcano?
GEORGE LUCAS: With dragons.
INTERVIEWER: Dragons?
GEORGE LUCAS: [Getting angrier] Look, it’s this kind of narrow minded thinking that’s crippling the film industry. Originally, Star Wars was supposed to be a film all about Dragons.
Coppolla initially envisaged The Godfather as a romantic comedy, but the industry wouldn’t allow it. Same with my dragons, but now I’m making a stand. Originally of course, the idea was to have no plot whatsoever for any of the Star Wars films, but due to the technological constraints at the time, we had to stick one in. It wasn’t until The Phantom Menace came out that we could finally remove the plot altogether.
INTERVIEWER: And what do you say to the fans who despair at the changes you’re making to what they see as a cultural behemoth, a defining moment for a generation of star-gazing teenagers and a movie and franchise phenomenon that spanned the global imagination and permanently ingrained itself into the fabric of Western society?
GEORGE LUCAS: [Blows raspberry]
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