Andy’s Flippant Guide to Teams Etiquette

Don’t cold call

“Are you free for a quick call?” took me seconds to type. Most people are always in the middle of something, we aren’t just sat there waiting for the next meeting to happen! I’m making a note of all these cold calls and when we get back into the office I’m going to find out where your meeting room is, knock on the door, pop my head into the room and start talking about a project we are working on.

It’s okay to keep your video off

It brings nothing to the table to be able to watch people randomly nod or show off their “web-surfing face” as they read mails or surf the internet whilst someone is talking. In fact…

If there’s a call where there’s one main speaker, switch your camera off

There’s nothing more frustrating than being in a large meeting / presentation where one person is the main speaker but someone else decides to leave their camera on, turning the meeting into some odd version of the programmes with sign readers in the corner, only the sign reader isn’t signing, unless nodding slowly counts as sign language.

Wait more than four seconds before telling someone to unmute

Full disclosure time here, I don’t spend every minute of a meeting with the Teams window focused. Sometimes I need to read documents or work on that last clue on the crossword. If someone asks me a question, I might have to actually find the bloody teams window! Give me a few seconds to actually unmute before proclaiming smugly that I’m on mute. I know!

Yes, we can see your fricking screen

I don’t have any science or analytics to back this up, but I reckon one of the most asked questions of 2020 was “can you see my screen?” when sharing. This isn’t some new-fangled technology – Press the share button, select the window/screen, assume the tech worked and crack on!

Don’t eat with the microphone on

It’s one thing to eat food in meetings, but when the sound of that eating is digitally packaged up, sent flying across the internet and unceremoniously injected into my ears via a headset, it makes me want to do things that would get me instantly fired. “Hey Google, define Misophonia”

No, you don’t need to apologise for your kids or your pets going loco in the background

This is a brave new world we are living in. Of course your daughter is going to proclaim she needs a poo just as you are getting to a really interesting part of the discussion. And of course your dog is going to interrupt your analysis of the project timelines because your latest Amazon delivery made it explode with enthusiasm. If anything, this makes all the other participants feel better about their own hectic working situations





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